im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
