Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
