Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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