You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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