please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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