one two three fourrrrnication!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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