Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
