we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
