Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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