My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
