But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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