Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
