So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
