I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
