WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize