I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
honey bunches of taint.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
