everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
