I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
