She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
