No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
