I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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