never play flip cup with pint glasses
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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