she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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