Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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