I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
