I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
