I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
