So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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