somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
wow bdsm is so cute
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
