holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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