She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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