Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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