What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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