So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
