Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
