we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
