I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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