just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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