So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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