OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
