Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
