that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
