In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
