i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
