Can i not drive my cunt home
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
