I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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