i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
