kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
What drink are we having for lunch?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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