i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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