So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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