I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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