is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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