I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
