Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
