i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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