You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
