You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
A+ Viking dick
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
