sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish I only lived at night.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
