I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
