Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
