In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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