I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
