I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize