By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
