And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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