Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This baby is an asshole
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
