Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
