if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
