You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
