he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
