She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
