i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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