Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize