I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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