He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
