Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
