You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize